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The U.S. government is liquidating! Bid for random stuff, like Dump Trucks for only fifty bucks!

Bid for random stuff, like Dump Trucks for only fifty bucks!

http://www.govdeals.com/eas/

I ain't lying, here's the dump truck:

http://www.govdeals.com/eas/itmDisplay.cfm?itemID=7&acctID=2058

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Hundreds Gather to protest global warming

Hundreds Gather

to Protest Global Warming

 

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MHSD - Peyton Manning Greatest Quarterback of all time? - By Eric Goodman

 It’s one of the greatest barstool debates of all-time. Who is the greatest quarterback in NFL history? It’s easy to make a case for or against any of these guys: Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana, John Elway, Dan Marino, Brett Favre, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning.

 

Old timers will tell you that Unitas is the greatest of all-time. When I asked Hall of Fame quarterback Dan Fouts about this debate (by the way, I felt awful about asking one of the greatest quarterbacks of all-time, who was better than him), Unitas was the first name out of his mouth. He added, “It’s too difficult to compare eras.” Fair enough. I never saw Unitas play, so let’s make a case for the greatest quarterback in the last 40 years.

 

Picking the greatest quarterback is like asking a millionaire to pick his favorite car in his garage. All of them are great. Each is unique. Each is special.

 

The Broncos will face the greatest on Sunday in Indianapolis. 

 

The Colts are Manning’s team. Montana played for Walsh. Elway played for Reeves and Shanahan. Marino played Shula. Favre played for Holmgren. Brady plays for Belichick. The Colts play for Manning; he didn’t play for Tony Dungy.

 

Manning’s football IQ is arguably the highest in NFL history. He calls his own plays. Johnny Unitas and Buffalo Bills quarterback Jim Kelly also called their own plays for many seasons, but you can’t say that consistently about the other guys. Manning understands the complexities of today’s offense and defense better than anyone who has played the game over the last 40 years.

 

When Manning retires, he will likely hold every major passing record. He already has the best quarterback rating and completion percentage compared to all of these guys.

 

All of them do have one thing in common, however. They make the players around them better, but no one does it better than Manning.

 

When the Colts drafted Austin Collie this year, the rookie got a phone call less than 24 hours later from Manning.  The future Hall of Famer told the wide receiver, “Meet me at the practice facility at 8:00 a.m. to start work.”

 

Many are fawning over Brett Favre this year and rightfully so. It’s amazing to see a 40-year-old quarterback put up the best numbers of his career. However, Manning has done far more with less on offense.
       

The Colts don’t have a running game and their second and third wide receiver options read more like a “who’s that?” than a “who’s who” in the game program.  

 

Manning should unquestionably win his fourth Most Valuable Player award. Take him off the team and the Colts have a top-five pick in the draft. Take Favre off the Vikings and they’re still competitive with Adrian Peterson and a pretty good defense.

 

It’s staggering to look at the numbers for the Colts wide receivers. Pierre Garcon and Austin Collie had caught a combined four passes going into this season. Through 12 games, they have a combined 90 catches for more than 1,200 yards. They run great routes because Manning demands it.

 

If Colts head coach Jim Caldwell were in Tampa right now, he’d be doing no better than Raheem Morris. Caldwell is the coach in name only. Manning runs this team.

 

Manning forced one of the greatest coaches off all time, Bill Belichick, to blink on fourth-and-two earlier this season. He led another fourth-quarter comeback and it wasn’t even close to his greatest comeback of all-time. Manning has the rare ability to change games without being on the field.

 

This guy is more than just numbers. It’s the eye test that makes him great. He’s a tremendous decision maker. He always finds the open receiver. He’s the best student of the game and this has made him the best at reading defenses. When he drops back to pass, you expect him to complete it every time. You certainly can’t say that about Elway and Favre.

 

Some will say that Montana and Brady are system quarterbacks.  Manning is the system. He’s the quarterback and the offensive coordinator.

 

Many believe that quarterback sacks are solely the responsibility of the offensive line. This isn’t always true. Manning has been sacked 10 times this season behind a marginal offensive line. He knows when to get rid of the ball. He calls the right play to make sure he hits the right receiver when the defense is blitzing.

 

The argument against Manning is simple: He has one Super Bowl title, and he really wasn’t even good in that game. This is true.

 

Dan Marino will never be called the greatest because he never won the Super Bowl. Favre has been to a pair and won one. What Montana, Brady, and Elway have accomplished is mind boggling. However, all of these guys had a lot of help when they won the Super Bowl.

 

Montana had the greatest offensive system of all-time to go with Hall of Famer Jerry Rice, Roger Craig and a very good defense. Brady had a very good offensive system and a great defense. Elway was a one man show in the 1980s (so was Marino), but won a pair of titles with Terrell Davis, future Hall of Famer Shannon Sharpe, Hall of Famer Gary Zimmerman and a defense that was good enough.

 

Elway is the most athletically gifted quarterback of all time, but not the greatest. Elway was great, but not consistent like Manning or Montana. Sorry, folks. My hometown bias doesn’t match yours.

 

Manning, barring injury, could play another five to six years. He will likely hold all of the major passing records by the time he retires. He will also get a chance to play in a few more Super Bowls. He is arguably having his finest season, and he’s doing it on his own on offense.

 

Joe Namath told a colleague of mine a few years ago that Manning will be the greatest whether he wins a Super Bowl or not. Manning already has one. The next one makes this barstool debate a moot point for the previous 40 years and likely the next 40 to come.

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The Friendship Cake

The Friendship Cake

Chicken Soup for the Soul: Christian Teen Talk

BY: Sondra Clark

I used to listen only halfheartedly when my parents told me I should be thankful for what I had. My friends were girls who had the same interests in soccer and school as me. We all tried to act like individuals, but let's face it... we wore the exact same style of jeans and sweatshirts. In fact, we were all pretty much alike. Things changed when I had the opportunity to go to Africa.

After a twenty-one-hour flight, we arrived at our destination -- Bugala Island, Uganda, in the middle of Lake Victoria. The eight-mile-long island had only one rutted road. The people there lived in cow dung huts without running water or electricity. (I won't even describe what the toilets looked like.)

While on Bugala Island, I had a chance to meet the girl I sponsored through Childcare International, a Christian relief agency. Her name was Annette, and her parents and relatives had died of AIDS. Through the thirty-dollar donation my family made each month, Annette was able to live in a group home and go to school. Annette and I had been writing letters back and forth for some time. I made sure not to write about our house, my closet full of clothes or the big trips we took. Here was a girl my own age who owned only two dresses and one pair of flip-flops. Before we left for our trip, my mom and I thought about buying Annette a backpack. I'm glad that we didn't because I soon saw she had nothing to put in it -- no stuffed animals, no boxes of markers... no books.

When I first met Annette, I had on my favorite khaki shorts, not knowing that most girls in Uganda seldom wear shorts or pants. She hugged me cautiously -- after all, she had never seen a Caucasian girl before. Within five minutes, Annette disappeared into her group home. She returned moments later wearing a faded pair of shorts, trying to look like me. Annette spoke English fairly well, so we could talk, but I panicked. How could I be friends with someone who had never even seen water coming out of a faucet?

Surprisingly, it didn't take long for us to form a friendship. She showed me the room she shared with twenty other orphan girls, who by now were all wearing shorts, too. Annette taught me how to play their jump-rope games, and we played the drums together and did craft projects. I found myself having fun with Annette even though she had never seen a video or eaten at McDonald's. Our life experiences couldn't have been more different, yet there we were... hanging out like old friends.

On the last night of our trip, the kids there planned a celebration for me. Since they didn't have crepe-paper streamers, they twisted toilet paper along the walls to make decorations. Annette, still wearing her shorts, led the group in singing and dancing. The dancing consisted of shaking the hips back and forth so the grass skirts the girls wore swooshed in a blur of color. The children invited me to join in their dance. Three years of ballet lessons never could have prepared me for what was to come. Trying to mimic their dance, I fell short and resorted to my preschool years of twirling and waving my body wildly to the beating of the drums and chanting of the children. They laughed hysterically at my attempts at African dance.

After the dancing and singing, the director of the home announced a special treat -- a frosted cake! He brought out a homemade, one-layer, eight-inch cake. Annette and I cut up the cake, and all 120 kids excitedly waited for the rare treat of sweet cake. I figured the Costco-size sheet cakes were on another table. After all, we had to serve over a hundred kids. Instead, Annette cut the eight-inch cake into smaller and smaller pieces... these were really small pieces! I then went around and passed them out, and each child picked up a tiny piece with his or her fingers. Everyone smiled at me as they ate their miniature piece of cake. No one asked for seconds, and no one tried to sneak two pieces. They were simply happy with what they had. Annette made sure I had a piece of cake, too.

The next day, while leaving the island, I thought back on that cake. In the United States, my friends would have complained about the tiny piece of cake. "We want a bigger piece! Where's the ice cream?" I found myself happily eating a few cake crumbs next to Annette. It wasn't about the sugar rush. It wasn't about the frosting. It was about the friendship.

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Celebrities then & now

Gosh, and when we were young we thought looks were so important.  Now it's just being on this side of the grass!   Jane

A lot of celebrities from the 70's and 80s have retired. It's good to see how some have aged. See the pics below.

Surely glad it didn't affect us like that!!!!  

                                           
Click here to download:
Celebrities_then_now.zip (534 KB)

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"Christmas Decorations, read below first" by Aunt Thelma; Hillsboro, Kansas.

This is great………..

 “Well, there is good news and bad news about my Christmas decorations this year. 

The Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my decorations. 

 

The bad news is that I had to take him down after only the second day. I had more people running and screaming to my house than ever; great story, but two things made me take it down.

 

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

 

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder and almost killed herself placing it against my house and didn't realize the ornament was fake until she climbed to the top rung. Needless to say, she was not happy.

 

By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either; I have more than a few vehicle  tire tracks of evidence that people literally drove on my yard.

Kind of feel like I gave in to the  man, but had no choice but to take him, and my neighbor did confirm to near miss vehicle accidents on the busy street next to my house.

 

I think I made him too real this time, but it was fun while it lasted.”  

 

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This is why women should not take men shopping against their will

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.  

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to W-store. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.  Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse.  Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,

Tom Richards

Walmart Mgr.

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ADS FROM THE 1930'S - anyone up for some lard?

 

ADS FROM THE 1930'S

THESE ARE A RIOT.... can you believe that these were real ads?


**This One Is A Definite Must Read***

Okay everyone, let's all go on that

tapeworm diet! 

                 
Click here to download:
ADS_FROM_THE_1930S_-_anyone_up.zip (444 KB)

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Phone Codes to block unwanted calls

(download)

Hi All,

Tis the season to get the plethora o’ telemarketing calls.  I went online and found a list of all the codes that you can use on your phone (*69 – last call return type codes).

There is something called Call Screen (Selective Call Rejection) where you can type in *60 on your phone and input individual phone number of the folks that keep calling you.  When that number calls you – they will receive a recorded message letting them know that you have blocked their phone number from calling you.

Thought I would pass it along!

Bell * Codes

*02 DeActivate

*66 Notification on Busy Signal

*03 DeActivate

*66 Notification (One Time Only)

*12 Call Assitance (Police)

*30 Cancel Forwarding

*31 Automatic Forwarding

*32 Notify

*40 change forward-to number for customer programmable call

forwarding busy-line

*41 six-way conference calling activation

*42 change forward-to number for

customer programmable call forwarding

don't answer

*43 drop last member of six-way

conference call

*46 french voice activated network

Control

*47 override feature authorization

*48 override do not disturb

*49 - disable long distance special

Ring

*51 Intercom Ring I

*52 Intercom Ring II *53 Intercom Ring III *54 Extension Hold

*57 Call Trace

*60 Call Screen (Selective Call

Rejection)

*61 Selective Distinct Alert

*62 Selective Call Acceptance

*63 Selective Call Forwarding

*65 ICLID Activation

*66 Busy Call Return

*67 Call Display Block

*68 Computer Access restriction

*69 Last Call Return

*70 Call Waiting Disable (Per Call)

*71 Three-way calling (Per Call)

*72 Activate Call Forwarding

*73 DeActivate Call Forwarding

*74 Speed Dialling (8 numbers)

*75 Speed Dialling (30 numbers)

*77 Anonymous Call Rejection

*80 Call Screen Disable

*81 Selective Distinct Disable

 *82 Selective Acceptance Disable

*83 Selective Forwarding Disable

*85 ICLID Disable

 *86 DeActivate Busy Call Return

*87 Cancel Anonymous Call Rejection

*89 DeActivate Last Call Return

*90 Re-Activate Call Forwarding

Busy

*91 De-Activate Call Forwarding Busy

*92 Re-Activate Forwarding No

Answer

*93 Call Forwarding No Answer

(*91,*93 to completely disable)

*94 Ring Control (Call Answer)

*95 Message Monitor (Call

Answer (link|flash) to

interuppt/talk))

*97 check if you have messages,

remotely (on=2beeps,off=4beeps)

*98 Call Answer

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The Economy is so bad

The economy is so bad, that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.


The economy is so bad, that when I ordered a burger at McDonald's, the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" 

The economy is so bad, that CEO's are now playing miniature golf. 

The economy is so bad, if the bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds, you call them and ask if they meant you or them. 

The economy is so bad, Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM and Chrysler. 


The economy is so bad, parents in Beverly Hills have fired their nannies and learned their children's names. 


The economy is so bad, a truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico. 


The economy is so bad, Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. 


The economy is so bad, people in Africa are sending money to America. 


The economy is so bad, Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. 


The economy is so bad, Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 senators.

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